We live in a world where brokenness is a reality, not a possibility. TWLOHA began as a response to that reality, as a way to confront a certain brokenness head on regarding mental health—specifically depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. We have learned that most people don’t talk about these things. There are thousands of people, people with faces and families and stories, who never get the help they need because they feel there isn’t a space to talk about their pain. TWLOHA is an attempt to create that space.
Starting today, we join twenty-four other charities in Round 1 of the American Giving Awards presented by Chase, a voting contest on Facebook to honor the past winners of Chase Community Giving. Voting ends next Wednesday, October 5 at 12 p.m. EST. We hope you will join us by liking the American Giving Awards presented by Chase Facebook page, voting for TWLOHA, and then asking everyone on the planet to do the same : )
We often talk about TWLOHA as a bridge to help. Taking the first step to talk to a friend about something painful is scary, as is packing a suitcase to go to a treatment center for the first or fifth time. We exist as a safe passage offering hope and encouragement along the way. Winning the American Giving Award will allow us to strengthen that bridge, to take our message of hope and help on the road to more places and in more creative ways than we’ve ever been able to do before, such as:
— Investing in building an interactive platform that will allow people to contribute directly to treatment and recovery in their local community.
— Providing more widespread counseling scholarships for people with little or no insurance, alleviating the stress of a financial burden that often accompanies treatment and recovery options.
— Expanding our vision by taking HEAVY AND LIGHT - an evening of songs, conversation, and hope - on the road. There is a unique kind of community that happens when people gather in a room with songs and honest stories that resonate. Nights like this can change a perspective for people, and that shift could be the beginning of change or even a life saved.
— Strengthening the launch of our brand new high school campaign called The Storytellers, a way for high school students to bring the story of TWLOHA and message of hope to their own campus through organizing and engineering community events.
We’re honored to participate in this contest and excited to have the chance to work with Chase to carry out this vision. Thank you for being a part of it.
Please vote.
The Shirt Said It All
Forty-five minutes into the day and already Adrian was invading my peace. The theme song from the Hills blared, even over my Bullet for My Valentine CD, the one that she never let me listen to wheever she was around. Her face held that same “I’m better than most people” look as the phone kept ringing showing her picture. Instead of jumping to get her call, as normal, I just let it ring until the song ran out and the voice on my voicemail screamed that I missed a call.
”Missed call! Missed call! Missed call!” another minute and that sound too ended. Finally the music in my car, what was meant to be there, was the only thing breaking through my delirious thoughts.
Today was my first day without Adrian being a part of it. Normally we would always do what she wanted and listened to what she wanted. Even though she was extremely hot and smart as a whip, we never quite meshed well. Maybe it was how we met, through a mutual friend who thought we would look cute together and said I needed to be banged. So seven weeks ago I met the crazy bitch named Adrian and then things just happened. First it was fun, I mean; I mentioned she was hot, like super hot. Second, she could match any topic with me. Music. WWII. Hitler (who we both liked). Anything! We were a match, two pieces of a whole, in the sense of liking the same things. So you would think that we would be really happy together. Now…things just felt different as the summer winded down and school was about to start up again.
As I drove in my green beat-up torus the almost twenty miles to my city’s mall all I could think of was Adrian. She had been calling me for the past two days nonstop. I really don’t know why, I haven’t been all that up to listening her to whine about the stupid things she has to whine about. One time was how her hair wasn’t blonde enough for the summer sun and that I needed to dye my hair a lighter color than black so that we complemented each other. Or when we went into Hot Topic, she commented on how I always shop in the guys section, almost never in the girls. How I buy the stupidest shirts and things I don’t need. Yet…somehow we connected?
As I contemplated my thoughts on her, I found my turn-in to the mall coming up on my right. Slowly I took the narrow turn and breezed past an oversized pickup, which was taking up half the two lanes. Quickly I found the way around him and to the next and last turn for the mall. The massive parking lot full already for the early time of the day. But when I rounded the corner near ShopKo did I remember that one of the car lots was having a tent event. Most of the cars there were there to be bought.
Finding a spot I killed the music and dropped the lone key to my car into my over the shoulder black peace bag. In a last thought I pulled the fifty I had hidden among wrappers of nut bars and yogurt boxes. It was one thing I kept to myself. I always kept a few dollars in my car if I ever needed to get something that I didn’t want to show up on any bank transcript. I was just weird like that.
Soon I was out of the car,locking the doors and raced through parking lot traffic to make it into the refreshing building of the mall. A large SUV decided that I wasn’t crossing the street on the crosswalk and sped up just as I got into his lane. It only took a second but I swiftly jumped from where I stood seconds ago, to the sidewalk, narrowly missing getting hit. The bastard didn’t even stop to see if I was ok, he just kept going. Soon, after the near accident I found my way past the large double doors and to the LDS book store.
This crazy place was like a haven to me. A place I could go and just be me without having to pretend or impress anyone. I have had wonderful memories with friends there. A bunch of them involve Spencer’s and the local arcade, but all wonderful. Adrian never came here, saying that it was too small to have anything good. She would just go 200 miles out of her way to Boise to get anything worth getting at a mall. So maybe you could call this my own secret, an Adrian free place.
Passing stores I waved to people I knew. Some were working, others shopping or hanging around the mall with girlfriends or boyfriends. On some subconscious level I too wanted that. To have someone that I loved be there to shop and fool around with me. but today, what I had planed was more important than ever.
As I grew deeper and deeper into the large building I passed stores filled with people. Pregnant mothers. Wannabe jocks. Game addicts. Preppy princesses. Outcasts. And the ever popular PDA teens. But as I neared a tween haven did I stop and give myself a chance to act as if it was just another normal day in the life of Corey Leigh. Carefully I entered the pink glowing store of Claire’s, filled with walls of jewelry and little girl things. Friendship bracelets that I always wanted but never got. Racks of nail polish that always went to waste when I bought them. Sunglasses I longed to have and use, if only it wasn’t for my glasses. I’ve had fond memories of this store, of me shopping alone for my own enjoyment. When I had passed the first barrier of racks I made my way to the lone two foot area of “punk” jewelry; things I would wear now-a-days. A small girl pushed past me on her way to the back of the store with her mother in tow. She shoved anyone else out of the way and shouted to her tired mother to get her the fake hair she wanted. I had to giggle at the bitchness of the little girl. She really was starting to act just like a teen at age eight.
Just as I was about to leave the store manager of Claire’s waved me over.
”Hey, wanna grab a drink from Orange Julius later? I have a break in ten minutes.” She had been working at Claire’s since as long as I can remember. Once she even thought I too worked at the mall since I was always there. Normally by myself.
”I’m sorry Kate; I have to get something taken care of. Maybe later?”
”Sure. Bye chicky.” She winked as I left out the tween infested store and moved a few feet to the local Hot Topic, or Hot Pocket as it’s been called by frequent buyers in the store. And today I walked right in and moved directly to the rack of clearance shirts. Passing Doug on the way in. He gave his normal greet and I gave my normal smile and “I’m ok” response. It always was the same thing whenever I entered. But on the rare occasion I passed James, a kid from my Communications class, who worked there, and he greeted me in his over the top smiley way. He creeped me out in a way. In two short seconds I had the things I needed and moved on to the wall of jewelry, being careful to get exactly what I wanted.
”Getting anything special today honey?” Jen asked giving me a once over. I hadn’t even changed from what I had slept in the night before and was wearing flip-flops with my college sweatpants and a Story of the Year XXL baggy T-shirt. My hair wasn’t even released from the rat bun I had placed it into just hours before.
”Na…just getting two things for someone.”
”Another birthday?!”
It was joke between a few of the employees and me. For the first few times that I’ve come in and gotten a bunch of things I had said that I was buying them for a friend’s birthday or my brother’s birthday. Something as a gift when most of them really were just gifts to me. But I had just used that phrase so much that it was just a joke between a few and me.
”No, this time it isn’t.” A large heart shaped locket caught my attention next to a bullet on a chain. “Can you get that down for me?”
”The locket?”
”Ya.” Quickly the gem was retrieved and it fell smoothly into my hands. Now with the last piece of the plan I was ready to pay and leave. But before I could move again my phone blared the Hills theme. It felt like everyone in the store stopped and stared at me as I punched the answer button and ensued with talking.
”Hello?”
”Ah, Corey! I finally got you. Have you been avoiding me?”
”No Ari. I just happened to lose my phone and then the battery was acting weird. Finally got it fixed. What is it that you’re calling for?”
”I feel that we need to get together and have a real date. We haven’t had once since you started working on that stupid picture of that chick.”
”I know Ari, I know. And we will. How about we go and see that new movie? Uh…Salt. I know you like to stare at Angelina Jolie’s boobs and comment on how big her lips are.”
”Sure. We’ll make that our next date. Kay, bye sweet.”
”Bye.” Quickly I cut the line and turned my phone off, just in case she had anything else to talk to me about.
”Your boo?”
”No, my crazy soon to be ex-girlfriend. The shirts for her.” The cashier glanced to the over sized shirt reading “Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are.” A look of interest plastered on her face. I could tell she was trying to suppress a giggle, with almost no luck. “Go ahead. Laugh. I really don’t care.” Quickly she released her built up giggle and asked for the items.
”Ready to check out Sweetie?”
”Sure.” Things were swapped and she moved to get me all check out as I dwelled on thoughts racing through my mind.
Adrian and I are like two ends of a bookshelf that don’t seem to hold the book upright, so they slant and fall off. In essence she’s like Justin Bieber, all cute and innocent looking. And I’m like Jeffree Star, raunchy and rude, never knowing when to stop and be serious. We just don’t mix. I mean, Jeffree Star could turn Justin into a twinkle fairy if he wasn’t one already. As I see it, this is my way of telling her that she may be fucking hot and whip smart. I mean I love that, but she and I will never go past anything more than sexual. I’m the anime dork who likes baggy clothes and bands in guyliner and she is a Prada princess who shops at Abercrombie and Fitch and is obsessed with sex. We just don’t go well together.
I am a child…
I am a child of a world lost within itself. Where people are pitted against each other. Values compared to values. A life of a single person analyzed on a level globalized for all to see.
A child taught; growing in a plague of verbal abuse to others. Shown that no one is equal. People are two things, right or wrong. A perversion of a world once hidden among the parent.
People stand in throngs. Placed opposite an invisible line, growing ever longer. One group full of hate and lies. Yet, lies still ringing a truth once known. The other group, trying to breath. Live. Love. Strive against the over throwing forces killing them. Silencing them.
I am a child of a world lost within itself. Unforgiving to the peers who have wronged me. Hateful to a group I don’t even understand. Poisoned by what I’d grow up being told. Cast away by loves. Once caring until truths were unwoven from the lies.
Children brainwashed from birth to see the world as their forefathers saw it. Christian. Citing the Bible as their only truth of what they are. What they do. What they believe.
Monsters to a generation long bloodied by years of torturing rejection. Sought to be beheaded. Prosecuted for what they cannot end. Help feeling. Stop knowing.
Masks hide the faces of the wicked. Smiles plastered on the stone cold faces. No warmth radiates from these souls. They are just as what they always were. Unforgiving.
I am a child of a world lost within itself. Placed within a category just for what and who I am. A broken toy, rejected by ones who cared for me. Lost within the crowd of silenced people. Always to hold arms outstretched to the world who wishes me damned in Hell
